So apparently, Grandparents’ Day was this past weekend and I missed it. But, I’m a firm believer that any time is a good time to celebrate your people! I never really thought much about the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” until I became a parent myself. I know people who are out here raising their kids alone with no “village” to help them for various reasons and I truly don’t know how they do it. I feel so fortunate to have grown up with my grandparents (and a great-grandma) and that my daughter has all of her grandparents and had the privilege of getting some time with TWO great-grandmas!

I have such fond memories of my childhood with my grandparents. My dad’s parents would pick me up from school sometimes and I would stay there until my parents got off work. My Granny would fix my favorite meal, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese with fried hot dog weiners (yes, it was amazing; no, I don’t need your judgement). She would follow it up with some butter cookies, the kind with the hole in the middle that I could put on my finger like a ring. One cookie for each year of my age dipped in a nice cup of cold milk until it was just a little soggy was all my little heart desired! I would sit on my grandfather’s lap and read with him. We would sit in his leather recliner that had a faded mark at the top where he would rest his head all the time. Time with my maternal grandparents was just as amazing. My grandma made the best banana pancakes for breakfast and the best tuna sandwiches for lunch! There was never a shortage of company because I always had a group of cousins over there to play with. We would play school, Jerry Springer and Ricky Lake (again, I don’t need your judgement). We would play card games and gamble for candy because my grandma would NEVER let us play for actual money. When it was raining outside, we weren’t allowed to do anything but sit in the dark and be quiet. No TV, no phone, no lights. Sound familiar? (I swear we all lived the same childhood.) We played tricks on my grandpa and turned off his TV through the crack in the door with the universal remote. My great-grandma was the “candy lady” in her neighborhood. I used to love answering the doorbell and helping her sell everything. She kept her money in an empty baby wipe container! My memories with my grandparents are endlessly wonderful. As of last year, all of my biological grandparents are no longer on this earth, but the memories I have of them will last me a lifetime.

I love that Rhyan is getting that same experience. My parents are literally the best and biggest support I could ever ask for. When Rhyan’s dad and I divorced, I was still working overnight as a NICU nurse. Working 7pm-7am three nights a week with a little one at home every other week would have never worked if it weren’t for my parents. They would pick her up from school, do the whole night time routine and bring her to school the next morning so that I could continue working and doing what I loved and was passionate about. They were my lifeline for three full years before I got my “normal” job and I could never thank them enough. That time alone gave Rhyan so much time with her grandparents. COVID has mostly kept us away from my parents because of health conditions, but it has honestly brought us closer. We see my mom for a few minutes several times a week. She cooks Rhyan’s favorite meals and brings them over, mask and all, to take some of that stress off of me. She goes to the park with us and walks with Rhyan or lets her swing while I do my exercise in peace. She’s sat at my house with her mask on while I got out of the house for a little while when life got to be too much and I needed a break. Rhyan and my dad FaceTime several times a day. He has spent countless hours with her doing school work, having virtual tea parties and playing whatever other games she decides to make up. They even figured out a way to play UNO over FaceTime and Rhyan has become the family UNO champion! My dad and my MiMi have virtually babysat her and kept her entertained just so I could take a nap. She loves putting on fashion shows and MiMi is the best hype (wo)man a girl could ask for. In a time that has been so challenging in so many ways, we have found ways to make the best of it. Rhyan is making so many memories that will stay with her forever.

The village doesn’t end with grandparents, and not everyone has grandparents in their lives. That’s ok too. Your village can be comprised of so many different types of people: aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends, coworkers. Some people live away from their family and have a group of friends as their major support system. Some people live in close knit communities and have neighbors who look out for them and their kids. Some people are so close to their coworkers that they become like family.

With all that said, let’s be real here. A village isn’t just full of people who help you take care of your kids. A village also helps you take care of YOU! Because who the hell are we kidding? We definitely need our own personal adult village too, our core group of people who love us and support us endlessly. I have multiple “groups” of friends that serve different purposes in my life and make up my village. I have my “nurse friends” who understand the woes of working in the medical field and the wonderfully horrible memories of nursing school. I have my “healthy lifestyle friends” who I talk to about eating healthy and working out and who help me get my shit together when I fall off the wagon. I have my “couple friends” who are my go-to people when I need relationship advice. I have my cousins who I talk to about every random thing you could ever think of. I have my friends who are also parents for when I need to vent about whatever drama I’m going through with my kid. I have friends that I don’t see or talk to often but that I can pick back up with like we just saw each other yesterday. I have my friends who have known me since high school and have been there through the good, bad and ugly. And so many of my friends fit into many of those “categories”, if that’s what you want to call them. I literally have the best group of friends a girl could ever ask for. We may not see each other as often as we would like because we all have our separate lives between marriages, jobs, kids, living across the country and a million other responsibilities. But when shit hits the fan, I know exactly who to call. When I have great news that I want to share, I know who’s going to celebrate me. And they know they can find that same love and support in me.

Think about all the things you’ve been through, good and bad. Think about the people who have shown up for you, however they could, when you needed them to. THAT is your village. This life can be fucking hard, and the more people we have to lean on in times of need, the better. Whatever your village looks like, love them, appreciate them and thank them. And life is short, so love and celebrate your people often! So shoutout to my people! Thank you for loving me and my kiddo to the moon and back!