My 1st grader is set to go back to school in person on Monday, and I’m still having some mixed feelings about it. I swear this has been the most popular (and stressful) topic to discuss among parents all summer long. Are you sending your kids back to school in person or are you keeping them home to do virtual learning?

Our schools shut down in March and we started “homeschooling”. I honestly didn’t think homeschooling a kindergartener would be hard. I mean, it’s kindergarten, right? Wrong!! It started off great. We thought schools would only be closed for about a month, so I tried to keep her on her normal school schedule, including waking up at the same time, because she’s a kid that thrives off of consistency. That worked for about a week. The teachers were posting assignments that they could do on their own time, so I decided that I would just let her sleep in and she could do her school work when she woke up. That was a little better for *me*. I was able to get a lot of my own work done while she was still sleeping. But, trying to get her to focus on doing the assignments was a struggle. All while I was *still* trying to keep up with my own work because I still had a job to do. Trying to find the balance between working from home and keeping up with virtual kindergarten was so damn hard. There were tantrums and tears (from both of us) and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We were both miserable until the end of the school/work day that I finally got to the point where I said “You know what? I’m not about to let this stress me out this bad! You want to do your work? Great. You don’t want to do your work? Cool, just go do something quietly so I can do MY work!” School never did resume in person, so that’s pretty much how the rest of the school year went. Some days, she did school work, some days she watched TV all day while I worked. I thank God every single day for the gift of my family keeping her entertained through FaceTime while I was in the middle of Zoom meetings and answering emails. From doing school work with my sister to having tea parties and playing UNO with my dad, FaceTime was my saving grace!

After THAT experience, I just KNEW I was sending my kid back to school as soon as we safely could, because that homeschooling shit wasn’t going to work out for us long term. Then, we both tested positive for COVID and I started to have anxiety about sending her back to school. I didn’t know if I caught the virus from work and gave it to her or if she caught it from someone at summer camp and gave it to me. She was asymptomatic the entire time, so I started to get concerned about her going to school, catching the virus and being asymptomatic again, and then giving it to me or someone else. Eventually, there was talk about schools opening in person in the fall, but parents would also have the option to “opt out” and keep their kids at home to continue to with virtual learning. I started having an internal battle with myself about whether I should send her to school in person this fall or keep her at home.

In the end, after reading through all of the safety precautions that her school would be putting in place, I decided that the best decision for us was for her to go back to school. She is such a social kid and being away from her friends and staying at home all summer was enough to drive her crazy. Quarantine was obviously affecting her mood. She would have moments when she would cry because she missed her friends and her teachers. She is definitely not a kid made for sitting inside with no one other than a grown up to talk to. She does better with the structure of a classroom than she does with trying to do work at home. She does better talking to her friends and teachers in person than she does talking to them through video chat. She needs in person interaction, no matter how socially distant it may be. On top of all of that, I still have to work. Her dad still has to work. Working from home is still working. She deserves to be in an environment created for learning with a teacher who has been trained to do just that, teach. That environment is not at home, and that teacher is not her parents.

There are so many people passing judgement against parents who are choosing to send their kids back to school in person. “Why would you risk your child’s health?” “I would never send my kid back to school right now.” So many negative statements! What people fail to realize is that what works for one child/family may not work for others. There is no one-size-fits-all solution in this case. There are kids, like mine, who don’t do well with virtual learning. There are parents who have to work and can’t stay home with their kids to do virtual learning. Unfortunately, there are many families who need their kids to go to school so that they can go to work to provide for their family. There are SO many reasons why virtual learning may not work for a family. Making the decision to send your kid(s) back to school is hard enough without all the negativity from people whose opinions on the situation don’t even matter. You “would never” send your kid to school in a time like this? Great, then don’t. That’s one less kid in my child’s in person class. In my opinion, kids need to be IN school. They need interaction with their peers. They need to spend time with people their age. They need to be in an environment that is conducive to learning. But I’m not walking around judging those who are choosing to keep their kids at home for the time being. Do whatever it is that works for your family. How hard is it to understand that even if you don’t agree with someone’s decision, you literally don’t have to say anything about it. Am I worried about COVID? Absolutely. But I am also worried about my child’s education and her psychological well-being. So, I’m going to trust in the safety precautions that have been mandated and my kid is going to school. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.